Mich
Mehs
24031992
DARCH student


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I'm simply just too nonchalant for my own good.

TV Crew came and filmed some shots at the market early today. I feel for TV stars. -.-

Imagine, when you try to be friendly and smile, and wave. And then people just stare, walk off, or just plan ignore you.

Ever had that feeling when you forgot how to breathe all of a sudden? The feeling that just suddenly leaves you standing there, gasping desperately for air, while your whole body kicks into high gear, re-learning the proper way to breathe.

Then you'd calm yourself down, breathing in-out, in - out. Until its okay again.

I'm screaming for time out. Some people, can you stop being so fucking ridiculous? It makes me want to laugh til I hurl (kay, not really,) when I see some of your actions.

Really fucking sad. I'm swearing some cos I've had all these emotions locked and forgotten for like, a year or so. /;

It's really low. Seriously.

You, a (goodness know how old) uncle, can like steal my DAD'S STUFF, MY STUFF, MY BROTHERS' AND MY AUNT'S STUFF.

Like I'd pity you, sympathise with you. Ok, I did some at the start. Then you got too low, but I won't go all out to like screaming curse you loud enough for the dead pigs to hear.

First you tried, early, with the baskets. Woohoo. Dad uses them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Think he won't notice? Puh-lease. Even that thieving turkey is hella smarter than you. Back then, you were just across us. :D Think we're blind? Counting the number of times Dad has to scold at you sorry asses.... -sigh-

Then, with the boots. Our boots. We didn't notice back then, and then we moved. It became fucking obvious why our boots kept missing. You poor misers just had no money to buy some? Fine, charity for you then. Tsk, a pair of boots is just around $5-7. Just to clear the air, we stashed our boots WELL UNDER our stall. The ONLY way to get them, is to STEAL them obviously. You'd had to walk to the back, and squat down, AND THEN REACH FOR THOSE BOOTS. I always kicked them REAL INSIDE ever since the first theft.

Next was our fabulous styrofoam boxes! I'm starting to think that you guys have some sort of a weird fetish with my Dad's styrofoam boxes. What. Are my Dad's styrofoam boxes bringing you guys good luck? Or does it smell good? Must be the very interesting illustrations I drew. All those fish I drew, plus my Dad's lorry and stall number inscribed all over them. Staking them as my Dad's. This is a problem. ): Once you took our box, my favourite one cos I drew a dozen fish and a dozen lorry numbers all over it, and since you were already gone I had to take one of yours because I HAD NONE LEFT. Turns out you guys had PLENTY of empty ones. Screw you, must be the fish I drew on the box.

The last straw sorta came, when you took my apron. CUT IT UP INTO 2 AND USED IT. I'm wearing spectacles, not because I'm blind, but to see even more clearly. You spineless wreck. Of everybody's you had to steal mine, which I also have to use EVERY SINGLE DAY! I had no extras, so I patched it up, with loads of extra love and masking tape. THINK I'D NOT KNOW IT'S MINE. Only me would do such a thing in the whole market. Puh-lease. A turkey must've been better than you at counting 1 to 3. Last straw for me. I told you off. Thank god or whatever you were praying to. Cos I waited awhile before telling you off. I was about to fucking scream you see. And that no one was there to see it. Okay, not really no one.

You had to ask, what is an apron? Told you in chinese calmly too. Like I said, I waited. Else I'd fucking scream, you don't know what's an apron? Maybe call you a retard or something. Tsk, I don't really know. I've never really lost control before. I always have enough will power to wait until my anger subsided before confrontation. A thousand yays for me. (: (Then again, I won't know if he was actually sooooooo.... moronic to ask me what's a 围裙）

I'm too tired to say more. But I'll always remember. Our spade, took ours, broke it too. Can't fork out $5 for one? My my. And seriously, heaven knows what else you stole from us. To take another's belongings without asking is stealing. To ask and to not return is the same.

不问自取便是偷。I'd mark every single thing my Dad has. The next time better not happen. Ironic isn't it. You guys had 2 inter-connected main stalls while my Dad only has 1 main stall. Go screw yourselves. Epic failures.

I read a children's book a few years ago, I bought the book for my brother at this fantastically awesome bookfair (all bookfairs are), instead I ended up reading the whole book first.

It's called 'Somewhere'. By somebody with a G and a Z in her name. A'yup.

All I can say is, its one of my favourite books. It totally dominates my puny favourites list! (I'm rather picky when it comes to books sometimes.)

So uhhm, let me try to tell you how nice it is and in what way with spoilers all the way. 'Kay, it's gonna be a book spoiler than a book review.

I love the book.

Heh, I got lazy typing it all out so I deleted the chunk. If you're really truly deadpan interested... Tell me and we'll do something about it.

I thought that I've got bad learning attitudes when it comes to maths, and it started long before PSLE.

And then, my brother comes along, and he really takes the cake.

Seriously.

He's like O: scaryyyyyyyyy. Now I can see what SY used to see when we're studying together. I was like on a slow road to suicide. Plus, in the end, I really died.

I've been on the search for the perfect blogskin. But as you can see, it's not yielding results for months now.

I wonder how does it feel to be led on, only by blind faith and nothing else. And having a faith so strong that no one can shake the very foundation of the faith you have.

I am counting my kills for the season!

New callus, with a matching stab wound. :D

It's amazing how late work finishes recently. Must be the Hari Raya Puasa.

4 plus. And its killing my feet. A callus is forming at the base of my right index finger, where it meets the palm.

It's making me annoyed.

What makes a good friend and what makes a bad?

I don't think I'm getting better as a friend. Lack of time? I digress.

I am:

• Constantly out of touch. Lucky is to see me online when you need me.
• Constantly at work. I just can't leave it. I need to save my sorry ass.
• Constantly switching off my handphone. People don't sms me that much anymore. I take nearly a day to reply.
• Constantly tired. Anyone with ways to power me up? I need to get high.

When you need a friend, or a shoulder to cry on, I'm not there. It'll be 'Sorry you can't reach me just now, I was busy (at work), now how are you feeling?' Then 'Oh it's fine, the feeling passed.' After some time, it sucks. It just does. It's like milk curing. That sour sour taste. Utter damnation. A piece of tissue paper would've been a better friend than me. It's cheap and can be bought in plentiful amounts. Enough to last a lifetime. Something I'd never be, at the rate I'm going. I'll probably be digressing alot more later.

Then, I'll slowly fall out of the loop. I sometimes wonder if the stuff I gave up for my own time is worth it. Surely, surely everything has its cons. It was naive of me to think that people will wait for me. In this day and age, 'waiting' is something like a luxury. A luxury that I didn't have and didn't deserve. It amuses me how I felt time was never enough in secondary school. Now, I feel that even running on 48 hours a day may not be enough.

In short. I wasn't there when I was needed. I wasn't here, there, or anywhere at all. I thought this feeling might fade away in time. Might fade away when I started school earlier this year. Might fade away when I slowly get used to it. But it isn't. It's doing anything but.

It's even growing. Getting larger. Even when it'll be overcoming me I think at most, I'd just ignore. I'm good at that. Look how far it has gotten me. One day it'll all grow too big for me to ignore, too big for me to handle and control. It would implode, and I might just die with it. But as long as that one day isn't today, I'll live. I'll get by through the day. In a way like this, I can be self-sufficent. Hardy.

There's always people working harder than me to go through a day. There's always people with larger problems than mine. The decisions they make will make or break their lives. I'm fortunate, and I know it. That I can comfort myself that I am no modern day emo kid. That I am no fool, ranting on how a minor setback would kill.

Sometimes I wonder. Are the sacrifices I made really worth it? I've seen terrible, terrible things. An argument can break everything, everything that took years and years to build. Something that encompasses almost my entire lifetime. It all broke in a second with a sentence.

With trust comes love, and love comes trust. How can love survive alone, if the trust died away? Fuck humans with complicated thinking. Everybody out there is just plain thinking that everyone else is out there to do them in.

I guess I digressed a whole lot today. My brain is just mixing and serving up large globs of delicious thoughts.

/:

Got to COMEX on the last day. I should've really gone on the first day, but I was too lazy till it was too late.

I bought a Seagate HDD, 500GB for $119 I think.

I'm officially broke because of that. Now I'm wondering where did the rest of my money went.

No doubt it was on food.

It's always on food.

I'm a food connoisseur. Okay, just kidding. I just appreciate nice food. Willing to exchange fashion for food. Yep. That's me.

Interestingly, I could only use like, 465GB of the entire 500GB. Is it me, my laptop or the HDD. I read and slept the whole of Monday. And mooncake eating.

Why are mooncakes so expensive? Tsk. If they were cheap and available all year round. I'd probably ate tens of thousands of them now. Probabkly would've eaten a whole lot of disappointing ones, especially for baked skins. Then again, ones from Goodwood Park never disappoints me. Their baked skin ones are the only baked skins I could stomach, from all the brands out there.

I want to go COMEX. Like seriously. /:

Finally got to go out with WC and Vin today.

WC and I had breakfast together because Vin had to go for this briefing thingy. We ate at Mac and chatted awhile before heading off to look for Vin.

We first went to Bugis. Then to Dhoby.

Lol, this entry is so dry and boring.

We walked around, went to get that top I wanted at Fox. Then we walked around again, before going to Carrefour to get some dried food thing that has almonds in it. Something apricot.

But then I got intercepted by myself into Guess. (Which, on hindsight was evilly placed along the route to Carrefour.)

We walked in and QL and I were rather offended by that snobbish salesgirl thing. Okay, she's not exactly a thing but that thing pissed me off. I bought a green wallet.

Okay, I'm going to eat dinner because my attention span is wavering.

Bye.

Dad woke up from his nap, walked into his study and started murmuring this song. o:

I think, by right, I'm owing some homework thingy to my lecturers. It's some auto cad work, and uh, I have no idea where to pass it up. And well, more importantly, I have this nagging feeling that the deadline's up.

No wonder deadlines are 'dead'lines.

You'd literally die if you missed it. /:

QL spammed me. Loads of questions. /: